Children usually get tangled into the issues surrounding their parentâs divorce because they are torn between the two. Handling the aftermath of any divorce is messy and adding kids into the whole equation makes it more complicated. Children of divorcees tend to feel like they have lost one parent in the divorce and the constant movement back and forth between the two parents doesnât help to ease the situation especially when they are young. It is therefore useful to lay down some proxy rules of engagement that should guide contact.
Guidelines for Healthy Contact after Divorce
For starters the contact should not be a basis for spying. Children may feel inclined to be loyal to the parent they love most or the parent who got custody and hence may be easily swayed to spy on the other.
Parents also need to anticipate the unresolved feelings or bottle up anger that the contact brings to light. They need to be prepared to talk to their children and make them accommodate the new situation.
Parents need to show mutual respect when dealing with their children. In order to avoid Undermining the efforts made in raising the children, parental decisions should be made together.
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